19 Warkworth St.
Cambridge.
27th November 1947.
Dearest Mummy,
I am awfully sorry to hear about all the trouble you are having, and I know how miserable you must be feeling. A peaceful life with my father seems to be able to last just so long, and then he gets a devil in him and won’t stop till he’s had a great row, and said all the cruellest things he can think of. No matter what you do, or how patient or forbearing you are, it always happens. I am sorrier then I can say that it has happened again though, just as you thought the dog was making him a bit better, and as you say, after all these years, it is too much to go on being insulted and browbeaten by him.
Of course, as he well knows, money is the problem if you leave him. It is one thing having the house as we had before, and another thing have to pay rent as we would now, especially with prices as they are now. One thing I think you definitely should do, and that is, if you are leaving him, get some proper written agreement stating the allowance he will give you, or if he won’t do that go to Court & get a Court order for an allowance, because it is only right that he should give you one. Also, you know what his verbal promises are- last time he sent the allowance for a few months & that was all. In view of the allowance business, I am doubtful about the wisdom of going without having legal advice or something first, because once you have left the house, I don’t know whether the position would be the same. Another thing, if you are going all of our things should be out of the house first, or he possibly would never let us have them.
About where you could go, Mummy, I wish I had a place here you could come to, but this isn’t much of a home for you. If you went to Miss Lefroy for a while, we might be able to find a flat eventually, & you could come to Cambridge, but honestly, honey, I don’t see much prospect of there being any kind of a job you could get here – that is why I think it is so important for you to get an allowance. Of course Miss Lefroy may be able to find you something to do in London, but it would be much more sensible and nicer if we could make a home together.
However, see how things are going dear, and if you feel that it is really the end then go and get some legal advice about how you stand before you do anything, because if you left, and he became vindictive, as he can, you don’t know how mean he would be.
There doesn’t seem to be any more I can say, Mummy, except again how sorry I am that you are having this sad worrying time. Let me know how things are going, and of course you know I am thinking about you. In your last letter you wrote about the Felton idea, & in someways I thought it was rather a good one, as life in the country would be pleasanter in some ways for you both, I thought, but now there’s not much point in talking about it.
Anyway try not to be too worried about it all – we’ll get on all right, no matter what happens –
With much love
from
Cyn
A Family History in Letters 