A word of explanation before this long letter: Since Cyn’s year teaching in Toledo in 1946/7, her interest in canning- bottling, as she called it then- has cropped up before in her letters to her mother. However, a thing well known to Carol then, and the rest of her family as we grew up, was her dislike of vinegar and anything that tasted of it. Which explains the capital letters, the underlining, and the exclamation marks when she tells her mother about making dill pickles! Carol would have been amazed.
Another note about the houses in the area they have moved into, which comes up in this letter, is that every house had to have its own well and septic tank- being outside the city limits, there were no water or sewer systems available. I must have been in my teens before the Gloucester Township, with new subdivisions being built, invited the existing residents to pay to join a municipal system.
Box 330 Ottawa RR1. 15th Aug. 1954
Dearest Mummy, I haven’t written for ages & I have a million things to thank you for, but oh!- life has been SO Busy! Mom Costain left on Fri. night (6th) & Cec worked each night & all night over the weekend, then on Tues. the Sutherlands arrived & stayed till Fri. so you can imagine that this weekend we took a rest we needed!! Both your parcels arrived a week ago & I was so excited! Fortunately they came when the children were asleep, so I was able to open & sort at my leisure & have fun, & I hid away all the birthday things & just kept out the others for them to have then. My dress is just darling & was such a surprise! When you said you were sending me a funny present that would amuse Cec I never thought of a dress but I am simply delighted & thank you very, very much. Cec doesn’t think it is at all peculiar, but nice & so do I – as you will gather we aren’t taking a holiday this year, so I put it on here at home & felt holiday-ish instead. Cec says I remind him of the Tattooed Lady in it- “Round her hips Were fleet of ships And right above her kidney Was a birds’eye view of Sydney”! Cec says there are lots more rude words, but he has forgotten them!
I loved all the things for the children & already they have been wearing their overalls hard! They are so sweet & fit them perfectly & the children do look cute in them – I dressed them up in them when the Sutherlands were here & they all exclaimed over them & were most taken with both the children & the overall! Please thank Auntie Muriel so much for the dear little bibs – Lindy & Charlie just love them & they are quite the prettiest I have seen- Charlie really needs one hanging down to his knees practically, but we use the pretty one for special occasions & give him something tidy to eat!! Lindy was most taken with her little petticoat – she is very intrigued with having lace & pretty flowers on & is very feminine! She has had it on & it fits nicely – although a pretty clinging fit to her little chest, but at least I doubt whether she will spread much there for sometime!! I haven’t put the little trousers on Charlie yet as he still looks a bit funny in little trousers – his legs are too short or something! He looks cute in rompers or sun suits or long trousers but you know he has no hips & shorts slide down & he looks so funny! I hope he will wear them soon & yours will be better as they button onto the blouse – the pair I tried was a little red pair Dotty sent him & they have elastic in the waist. I have kept the dolly & the banjo – so cute – & the 2 little shirts for Lindy’s birthday & the little Prince Charles’s shirt for Charlie then too, as we are giving them both a few presents, so he won’t feel left out. I will write & tell you all about how they like them when they get them. It was a simply lovely parcel, Mummy darling, & thank you so much for every single thing. I haven’t planted the flamboyant seed yet – I had no plants as the few survivors had died while I was in the hospital! – but the Hayworths bequeathed me a couple of African violets & a loathesome looking rubber plant & Lindy & I are growing a grapefruit pip, so we will add the flamboyant seeds & see if we can’t get something exotic! I thought I might give Mr. Scott (our landlord) a flamboyant seed as he is a madly keen gardener & loves to try everything new, so I know he will think it’s fun. Another thing Lindy wants to thank you for dear Grannie, is the dear little book “The Sleeping Princess”. I read it to her straight away & although I think it is a bit above her head, she loves it.
Just looking at the list of things in your parcel, I see “scraps” & it is such a good thing you sent them, because Jean was right after all & the straps of the dress were too short! Actually it wouldn’t have mattered too much except that it made the waist too short & even the skirt a bit short, but when I added about 2″ to each strap it was just right & looks so nice. The children are very taken with it & Lindy at once noticed that it was just the same as my green one! The weather has been so queer this summer, that I haven’t worn sundresses as much as usual but with having the little white jacket the green one has been so useful & looks so nice. Do the girls all wear strapless bras in St. V.? I have such shoulder strap trouble with sundresses! As you will gather I altered the green dress very successfully & have worn it so much. The dress itself I just took in a little under each arm, but the jacket was so big right in the front, (where I should have a large bust!) that I ended by cutting about 1 1/2” off each side of the opening & putting on the buttons again & making new buttonholes. It looks lovely now & the neck fits nicely as well as the waist part & I am so pleased with it. While I am on the subject of my clothes I must tell you about the glamour skirt you sent me. While Mom Costain was here I dashed downtown one afternoon & got myself a black blouse, a black cinch belt & a nylon net crinoline petticoat & I now have a gorgeous outfit!! The blouse is sleeveless (black cotton) with a low round neck with scallops around the neck and sleeves & otherwise quite plain but has a side zip and fits nicely.
I got it reduced a dollar in the sales & the belt reduced to 75¢ so felt delighted with my bargains. The belt is black with a gold thread running through & a gold clasp, so looks very nice & I have a black & gold necklace Nan sent me once which matches exactly. The crinoline is fun! I have been hankering after one all summer, as they make the skirts look so pretty & finally I got this teenage one which is just the right length & I feel so bouncy & flouncy! The skirt really does look lovely & we had a little party while Gordon & Gunborg were here & I wore it & they all remarked on how lovely it was & even the girls said I looked nice, so that was a big compliment from the critical younger set!! Just before Gordon & Gunborg came we had another big project which has been a great success – we covered a chair! It’s the one we bought when we first went to Eastview you remember, well it got used well there & then we put it in Dan’s room & he wore it more & Charlie finished off its beauty with pulling the wool out as you know! Anyway, the same day I went to town, I went to Ogilvy’s Furnishing Dept. & got a sample 54” square of a very nice material- a nice reddish brown with a gold (plastic) thread woven through. Mom C. helped us cut it out & we pinned & sewed & tacked & stuffed the holes etc. & have finally turned out a very neat job & are thrilled with ourselves! It always had a slight forward tilt so Cec cut a little off the back legs & it both looks elegant now & is nice & comfortable. We are so inspired that we think we may try the other big arm chair we have- it is wearing thin on the arms too & it & the sofa are a winey red which I have never cared for, so I think it would be fun to try. It is so much easier re- covering than making a loose cover, as you can pull it to fit, but of course you can’t take it off to wash, but without a machine I can’t make loose covers anyway.
19th Aug. It is now Thurs. & you will never guess what I have been busy doing- making PICKLES! I told you about Mr. Scott, our landlord, being such a keen gardener – well at his new house just down the road he has a big garden which he has just really begun to cultivate this year of course, but he works like a slave at it & already has it looking very nice & his vegetable garden is beautiful. He has just about every vegetable you could think of & since things began to ripen he has just about kept us in vegetables- lettuces, radishes, wax beans, green beans, kohlrabi (have you ever seen this? – I was fascinated with it. When I cooked it & we had it for dinner Linda said “Why is it hot rabi now?”!!) spinach, green peppers, eggplant, corn, tomatoes & cucumbers! Lindy & Charlie & I all go down carrying our baskets & come back laden. Anyway a week or so ago Mr. Scott (Ken from now on – he is one of those thin, sparse, sunburnt men that could be any age) came in & asked me if I had a recipe for dill pickles. His wife was in hospital (op. for varicose veins) & his cucumbers were ready & he wanted to make pickles. Of course I had to tell him I’ve never made any but I got out my recipe books & Mom C. was here & she found one like hers & we gave it to him. It was so simple, I was amazed & Ken said that he’d give me some cucumbers & dill later & I could make some for Cec. Well on Mon. evening he phoned me that he had some ready for me & I went down & got them – had to make two trips there were so many! And I have been pickling ever since! The weekend before the Sutherlands came I canned about a dozen jars of fruit – plums, seedless grapes, cherries & blueberries – no rasps. this year, they were very expensive – 65¢ a quart- so I only had 1 dozen jars left & I filled those all with dill pickles & still had dozens of cucumbers left! So today I got 2 doz. more jars & have just made 6 jars of bread & butter pickles & still have more left & think I will make a cucumber & onion pickle with those! I think Cec will have a wonderful pickle-y winter as he has never had 18 jars of pickles in our 5 years of marriage & now he has 18 for 1 yr!! I want to can peaches next week, so will be glad to get the pickles over. The funniest thing is that Mr. Scott & Mrs. Rothwell are not on very good terms – she is very domineering & must have her own way & will never admit she is wrong & although he is the nicest man going, she drives him crazy over certain business things – for example we share a well with Mrs. R. here & you have to remember not to be too careless with water or it runs dry, & Mrs. R. has 3 or 4 times done this & will not admit it’s her fault! Anyway- every time I come up from the Scotts with vegetables ofcourse I bump into Mrs. R. & I feel most embarrassed! Finally the other day she asked me if Mr. Scott would sell any!! Mrs. Scott is rather shy quiet person – they have a grown-up married daughter with a baby & a young (20-ish) son & now Mrs. Scott has gone back to teaching – music & singing at lots of different schools. We had them up to spend an evening when Mom C. was here & they are awfully nice – he reminds me of Ford in that he is so interested & enthusiastic over everything. Talking of Ken’s garden reminds me of ours, which is really looking very nice now. The petunias & asters & nicotina have done very well & have been blooming steadily for weeks. We have a big border of portulaca which looks beautiful just now but the balsam has done nothing nor nasturtiums & just this week the canna lilies have at last produced 2 buds, but of course we were late getting them in. I have lots of tomatoes – all very green though! & the back has been lovely with a carpet of wild poppies for ever so long. We are very pleased with it on the whole though & will know more about it next year. I was so pleased today – my Gor-ray skirt arrived & it fits perfectly & I had no duty to pay. Of course the material is quite different to what I expected! They sent me little patterns to choose from & I chose a brown & blue & thought it would be quite gay, but seen in the skirt the weave is so fine that the general effect is a kind of mole-y color! However, it looks very nice & fits me like a dream, so I am delighted- thank you Mrs. Ewing! Do you know, my dress from Harrod’s has never come yet! The one I ordered was out of stock & by the time we wrote back & forth & they sent me another catalogue & I chose another it was months, but I hope it comes soon.
A close-up shows the colours, but the whole skirt must have been a dull charcoal- or mole-y!
I have told you nothing about the course of events in this letter & haven’t answered one of yours, but I will try & do better next time, now that my spate of visitors is over. You were asking me about a long sea letter I said I was writing you – well I must admit that I am sorry to say it never got done! But I still plan to do it one of these days! We liked having Mom C. very much – she is a nice person, quiet but a sense of humour as you can imagine knowing her son!! She helped a lot with the children & I think liked them very much, – although she never says, you know! Lindy was fine with her & of course Charlie is friends with everyone but I think Lindy is getting over her shyness a bit now too. Anyway Mom C. told Mrs. Rothwell (who told me!) that she thought I was a very good mother!! I will tell you more about what we did & about the Sutherlands visit- it was lovely to see Gordon & Gunborg again – they are just the same- but it was hectic with so many people & such a short time. Gordon is coming back to N.R.C. sometime this coming year for a month or so & maybe Gunborg part of the time so we’ll see more of them then. Kisses to the dearest of Grannie’s from Lindy & Charlie- & thank you lots & lots. With much love from us all Cyn.
Before I begin this letter, I want to say a few things about Ottawa, Canada’s capital city, in the 50s, and the area I grew up in. It has changed so much during my lifetime! But when Cyn and Cec moved to their new home- about 5 miles east from the Parliament Buildings- they had moved outside of the city limits, and were writing letters from ‘Rural Route #1’. (Now Ottawa extends 40 km. further east and south, with all the farmland turned into residential suburbs, apartment buildings, malls and highways.) Their duplex was on the Montreal Road- literally the highway between Ottawa and Montreal- and it was a good thing it had a clearly defined front garden screened by lilac bushes to mark the boundary for the children, because the road was a danger. The highway separated two suburbs, new since the war, existing only of single family dwellings- no shops or other amenities. On the other side of the highway was Cardinal Heights, with old Mrs Cardinal and her daughter living directly across from us in a low white house, and behind those houses, a gentle hill with roads, houses, and space for schools and churches as yet unbuilt. On our side was Rothwell Heights, built on the old Rothwell farm land, and it descended behind the 8 houses along our side of the highway, in three built-up levels down to the Ottawa River- the hill between the second and third level being quite steep, with modern houses clinging to the slopes, (and in the future, school buses getting down to the third level on a particularly icy day and being unable to get up either of the roads out again! Fun for us!) The original Rothwell farmhouse was a lovely stone building on the Cardinal Heights side of the highway, about 4 houses east at the bottom of the hill we were perched on, and after it, there were only fields and occasional farm houses on either side of the road and surrounding the 2 suburbs, until the village of Orleans, predominately French-speaking, 5 miles further east. Within Rothwell Heights there were amazing ‘modern’ feats of architecture, as well as ordinary houses, and because of the levels, tree-d areas left wild. At the edge of these suburbs, just within the city limits, the National Research Council had a vast area adjoining the Canadian Forces Base, where they were expanding and building (white buildings) more offices and laboratories as well as structures for their experiments- a wind tunnel being the most obvious, although the NRC headquarters remained on Sussex Drive in downtown Ottawa, where Cec’s lab was. City buses came out as far as the N.R.C. and turned around, so Cyn would have had a 1/2 mile walk if she wanted a bus. And no sidewalks anywhere, along the highway or beside the roads in our areas, so wheeling prams would have been a challenge! Cyn had to drive a few miles into town to buy groceries, and if she needed the car, they loaded the children into the back seat (no car seats or seatbelts then!) and drove Cec in to work along the loveliest route through Rockcliffe Park and along the river cliffs to Sussex Dr., passing the Governor General’s and the Prime Minister’s houses before reaching the NRC building. (The road through the park wound along the cliffs and Charlie and I would kneel up on the slippery back seat of the Chrysler facing backwards and urge the parent driving to go faster, as we slithered from side to side around the corners.) Then we would return at 5 o’clock and pick him up from work. This trip had the advantage of having few traffic lights, so Cec’s commute was much less of a problem than the traffic Cyn describes when she writes of visiting friends in the west end of the city. However, until the Queensway was built in the early 60s (?) there was no way to bypass the tangle of lights and traffic in Ottawa, and so Cyn was, at this point, separated from her friends- the Douglases and Garrets and other NRC families in the Rockcliffe area, and the Ganders and Forsyths in the west end. That was the Ottawa of my childhood- a small city, with stores, cinemas, public libraries, a CN Hotel- the Chateau Laurier, a museum or two, schools and two universities, but no proper theatre, and not much diversity- a lovely Italian restaurant was the height of sophistication! In addition to the government buildings, there were embassies and their ambassadors’ residences, and it was a civil service town- but directly across the Ottawa River in Hull, Quebec, was E.B. Eddy, an odorous paper mill, with log booms floating constantly down the river. With my Baby Boom generation growing up, Ottawa and Hull expanded continually- as did the rest of the country! The schools I went to were only a couple of years old when I started- and grew bigger as I attended. My high school, built beside the new Queensway Highway, was surrounded by green fields my first year- cows came and looked in the windows- but by my fifth year, there were apartment blocks on one side and a strip mall/grocery store/gas station on the other, and the school had a second floor and a tower, having grown each year. My university, Trent, was the same- smaller in student population than my high school and only five years old in my first year, 1969. It was a positive, forward-looking time to be growing up, the government investment in scientific research made it a Golden Age for the NRC, which was nice for my father and his fellow scientists, and Canada would gradually develop a social welfare net over time- Cyn is getting Family Allowance for both children in 1954, and, given her propensity for ending up in hospital, it is fortunate that a universal public health care system came along in the 60s. But this is getting ahead of myself- back to our new house!
Box 330
Ottawa R.R.1 (Rural Route)
Ontario.
Wed. May 5
Dearest Mummy, First of all, I got the batteries from Mr. Pridham today & have just packed them up for mailing tomorrow – at least I hope tomorrow but it depends if Cec can get to the P.O.- he has been working so hard lately – goes at 8:15 & often isn’t back till after 6 & then back again after dinner- tonight left at 7.0 & then isn’t back till after 12.0,- so he doesn’t have much time for stopping on the way. However, he hopes that the worst will be over in 2 weeks time, so we will both be thankful! He has everything working now & is hoping to get results – just to get the whole equipment working is so complicated – sometimes as long as 2 days to heat the big valve up to the temp. he wants & certain pressures etc. before he actually begins to use it & of course it isn’t safe to leave for long without attention, so it is a very demanding business! I have so many things to thank you for & have been so long in writing I’ll thank you first of all & then make my excuses! Three letters actually- 2 A.M. forms, 7 & 26 & one nice long letter on 22nd, & we all enjoyed them so much-particularly your adventures at your cottage by the sea- the animals!!! I nearly screamed just reading about them! Linda is just like me & goes into hysterics over a fly or a little beetle, so what the pair of us would do I can’t imagine! Also I want to thank you so much for Charlie’s 2 parcels- he was so pleased to have a parcel for himself & Lindy was very intrigued & not at all jealous! The little red plaid overalls are so cute, I think- Charlie looks sweet in red, whereas it is inclined to make Lindy look a little washed out, & I have just ordered him a little red “windbreaker” jacket like the green one I got Lindy last year, so he should look very smart! He is as pleased as Punch when he has on something new & strokes his fat little tummy & struts along! They are a very good fit by the way- I have to move the buttons on the straps to make them a little shorter & the legs are just a shade long, but the waist is fine & his legs will grow!
Ruth and Richard Haynes.
Talking about making them for Ruth’s boy – have you seen a picture of him? Amy sent me some snaps & he looks a lovely boy, but huge! He must weigh more than Linda let alone Charlie!
Amy and Charlie Stainthorpe with their daughter and grandson.
The little white T-shirt is so nice & just what I like best for Charlie & I must tell you that the make “Ladybird” is quite the best I have come across. Margie told me about it ages ago, & said they kept their shape so well & the necks didn’t stretch or anything & I got one for Linda & have certainly proved it as most of the others go shapeless in no time, so I was particularly pleased with your choice. The little packet with Charlie’s Sudermo & the wee purse for Lindy came a few days after the other & Lindy was so tickled with her purse! We have been using the Sudermo on Charlie- actually his eczema has been better these last 3 or 4 weeks but we have come to the conclusion that nothing he eats or nothing we put on it really makes any difference. Suddenly for no reason it all dries up & then suddenly he gets another patch – we have tried 2 prescriptions of ointment from Dr. W. & your Sudermo & they all relieve the itch & stop him scratching which is the main thing, but I think the real cure is the fresh air & sunshine & now he’s out more it’s having effect. It was awfully sweet of you to send it though & it has a much nicer smell than the others! I must tell you about Lindy and her purse – she was so tickled with it & I gave her pennies & Cec gave her 5¢ to put in & she was very pleased with her money. Cec said she could put it in her penny bank, but I’d said something about “you could buy things with money”, so she told her daddy no- it wasn’t for her penny bank, it was to buy things with. Then Cec asked “What things?” so Linda thought for a long time & then said “Groceries”! In the end she came shopping with me on Sat. & Cec & I gave her a bit more to put in her purse & she decided she’d buy herself a book, so we went to Mr. Dube’s & she settled herself down in front of the rack of children’s books & you can imagine! She is really too young to choose & got quite confused & just picked up anyone – then she saw a “Little Lord Jesus” one, as she calls it but as she already has 2, I dissuaded her from that! Any one I suggested she would say “No” & grab another & I would look at it & find it was much too old for her or something & we had quite a time! In the end she finally attached herself to one called “Please Come to my Party” about a little boy having a birthday party & took it to Mr. Dube & gave him her purse! She had enough for a chocolate bar too!! If you remember when I wrote last I was saying Lindy was getting a cold I thought. Well it never did turn into a cold, but she got very miserable, poor little thing & was really very poorly all week. On the Thurs. evening her temp went up to 103 & we decided to call Dr. W. if it wasn’t down by the morning, but when we lifted her at 11 p.m. she was quite cool again & in the morning it was normal. Such a business to get her to stay in bed, but Thurs. & Fri. she was in bed most of the time, & by Sat. felt better. She didn’t eat anything for 3 or 4 days but got back her appetite fairly well & is now eating very well – for her! Actually she was poorly & not like herself for about a week or more, but by the end of last week she suddenly seemed to get really well & full of pep! It was such a lovely change- her eyes sparkled & her cheeks were pink & she was running around – & even her hair curling more than usual! It made us realize that even though she has been well all winter it was a long time since we’d seen her so full of fun. Of course the weather is getting nicer all the time & she is out more & it all makes a difference. Poor old Charlie has had a bad time too – the Friday Linda was ill in bed he was playing on the sofa in the afternoon & I just went into see Linda & I heard a bump- not very bad – but ran & here was Charlie on the floor just about to yell. I picked him up & he cried and buried his face in my shoulder & I shushed him & then feeling rather damp- from tears I thought – was about to move his head to my other shoulder when I found it was blood! My blouse & his shirt & overalls were drenched & it was pouring from his mouth. I took him & bathed it at once, but it was bleeding so I couldn’t see what had happened until that evening, actually. Linda’s little chair was by the sofa & when he fell he must have bumped his chin on it (there was a bad bruise under his chin) & his top teeth went inside his front lower teeth (not having any side teeth to stop them) & cut a great gash right through his gum. After the initial shock he didn’t make much fuss about it- we gave him soft foods for a few days & it healed well, but I think it must have loosened his lower teeth as he is still very wary of biting & will give back a cookie for me to break into pieces rather than bite it. Also, the shock seemed to quite upset his usual contented little nature & he has been quite weepy & wanting “Up! Up!” all the time which is most unlike him, but he is gradually getting over it. However, all these events & demanding little children have kept Mama on the go, so that is why I have been so long in writing!
Remember my mentioning the Calamans? He (John) is English from Oxford & Esther is Swiss, & they were married last summer & came over here in Sept. Anyway, they had a son 10 days ago so we had John to dinner on the Monday. They remind me a little of Gordon & Gunborg – not at all in appearance, but he is quiet spoken & she is very vivacious & lively. That same Monday we had snow again, but on the Wed. the temp. began to rise & we had some gorgeous spring weather – in fact on Sat. & Sun. we were out all day without coats – right until 9 p.m. Sun. evening – & not a leaf on a tree yet!
You will be amused to hear we are gardening busily!! But this is the first time we’ve had a decent garden & we are going to do our best! Actually this hill is just rock! Mr. Scott had to cart in soil & manure etc. & has built the garden up with beds of soil, held by a little stone walls, but he has worked hard over it & has made it very nice. The front is like this:
the single bed on the right of the drive is empty and we are digging that up & going to get plants. Cec is very keen on canna lilies – do you know them? They are a red lily which flowers all summer & we thought they would be nice as a centre with maybe white flowers on either side & a border. The bulbs are lovely- the bed is packed full- crocuses are over now but the scillas & grape hyacinths are out & a little pink & white hepatica, the daffodils are just coming & the tulips are in bud. The other bed at the side & along side of the house has masses of poppies & irises & lilies & seedlings of marigolds etc. The back has just a little bed along the edge of the terrace, but Mr. Scott says the hillside is a mass of wild poppies. We have bought a lawnmower, spade (small size!) & clippers! Really going into business! Must stop now, but will write again soon – a great big hug from Linda & Charlie & lots of love from us all- Cyn.
In the two previous letters, Cyn made references to her mother’s questions and promised to answer them soon. In her first October letter, she had said she was writing the long letter but wouldn’t be finishing it until later. Although that letter exists, it is lacking the first two pages, so the first questions and answers are unknown, as is the date it was started. It finishes just after Thanksgiving, so was probably mailed in the middle of the month and Carol would have no reason to complain that her queries had not been attended to!
A word about Cyn ordering things from Harrod’s in England- she had a bit of money there that she couldn’t?/hadn’t? transferred to Canada, so she used it for things like children’s clothes and the gift to Ruth (who had been her bridesmaid) for her baby. It solved the problem of her English friends having to pay duty on presents she sent them, but she didn’t really know what she had sent, and she had to pay duty on the things she’d ordered for herself in Canada.
The letter starts on page 3 with Cyn addressing Question 3:
3. Do I ever hear from:
A. Til & Lois – haven’t heard in an age- they must be about the only people I don’t owe a letter to! Will write next month for Til’s birthday.
B. Gunborg- was over in England & Sweden this summer for six weeks- flew. The girls went to summer camp. Haven’t heard from her since she came back, but she sent Lindy a darling baby doll for her birthday. It was waiting when we got back from our holiday & when Lindy opened the parcel & saw it, she just lifted it out & cuddled it up & said “My baby!” in such a tender little voice! It has a little bottle & takes water out of it & wets its diaper! Lindy thinks it more fun to suck the water out of the wee bottle herself, most of the time!
C. Connie & Leonard – haven’t heard for a long time, cards only exchanged at Linda & Christophers’ birthdays! Leonard is working at Harwell (British Atomic Energy place) & they live near there – have no idea if it’s a house, flat or what.
4. Dan!
He is behaving all right but is still as big a bore and as stupid as ever! He went down to Columbus, Ohio for his holiday (1st 2 weeks in Aug.) to see some American girl he came over on the boat with & ofcourse came back engaged! Unofficially as he has no money to buy a ring! Of course his ego is sky high & he blabs to any & everyone who will listen, but he gets no encouragement- from us, or anyone else as far as I can gather! He talks of her coming up & their getting married in the New Year- always with a pleased smirk & phrasing it as if the girl was just pining away for him! None of us can possibly imagine what she can be like because from what Cec knows at the Lab. & the other girls I talk to, everyone is as bored with him as we are & none of us can think how anyone could spend a whole day with him let alone a lifetime! However – if it comes to anything I’ll let you know! Phyl thinks she must be young & silly- I think she must be older & at her last chance (à la Jessie F.!) One thing I will say for Dan – he is really very fond of children & very good with them. He is awfully patient & kind with Lindy & on Sat. morning will read her stories & play horse-back with her & so on for ages.
5. The house plants.
Well ——————- ————————- ————————— they have been out all summer & while the begonias have flourished the others look pretty sick! The African violet Mrs. B gave me in hospital died altogether- I think it was too hot for it– & I think the philodendron dried out while we were away! Oh well – we can’t all have green thumbs!
6. I will try to remember to send the christening films, if this letter is too heavy we will send them by sea.
7. The high chair for Ruth’s baby-
Lalapalooza = Very, very, very elegant! Ruth & Amy both rave over it, so it must be something – especially as Ruth says it is the nicest present Richard has had. I asked them to send one of the kind that turns into a low table when the child gets older, & it is painted cream & that is all I know.
Did I tell you that I got Harrods to send me some things?
3 pairs Viyella rompers – 1 blue & white for Charlie; 1 red & white for Lu’s baby; 1 yellow for Margie’s baby. 1 green flowered Viyella dress & pants for Linda. 2 blue wool buttoned up cardigans for C. & L.
I had to pay duty of course, but they are all very nice & I feel it is worthwhile as the equivalent here is ‘way beyond us. I am also getting them to send a winter outfit for Lindy- they sent a mag. of illustrations & I chose one in blue (pastel) tweed – coat, leggings, bonnet & beret. The latter is for Charlie when it’s handed down to him! I will get a cheap snowsuit for Lindy to play in & then she’ll wear the other for “best”! I have just got her 2 prs. of corduroy “jeans”, blue & green, to wear out to play with her little windbreaker jacket just now. She has a red beret & red mitts with snowmen on! Also some new brown shoes – proper little Oxfords – very grown-up!
I forgot to tell you that when we were away I finally got Lindy’s “Family Allowance”- back pay from Jan. 1st- so I got $30.00 altogether! I was so tickled & had such a spree with my Eaton’s & Simpson’s catalogues! I got a new garbage can for the kitchen (!!) (red & white); a combined bread & cake box (red & white); a mincing machine; a square cake tin; a weighted floor polisher; a brown skirt for me (cheap to wear around the house);3 prs. nylons for me!! Wasn’t that nice?
Talking of catalogues you asked me once about sending Eaton’s to you – well, they don’t mail them – you have to collect them & they are so enormous they would weigh a ton. Also, the one I get I use until the next arrives & then the 1st is out of date. However I am sending their summer sale catalogue just to show you a few things we got for Lindy etc. & you can tell me if it is any use. I am also sending another dress pattern- you asked me to send some once & I got these. Actually I was thinking if this one was any good & either you or one of the cousins tried it, I could use a sundress (for my birthday) next summer! I take about a 14 now, but a little shorter than yours. I put on weight during the summer cooking for Carman (130) so I am dieting now & will try to get down to about 115 again.
You also asked me once about the authoress whose books I used to get you – she is D.E. Stevenson. You also took told me about Frank Dobie’s “A Texan in England” – I read it in Cambridge long ago – before I even went to Toledo – & enjoyed it. I hope “Maclean’s” continues to come & doesn’t annoy you as much as it did pre-Coronation! Carman got Cec “The Saturday Evening Post” for his birthday, so it comes every week now without Cec having to go to the corner for it.
This is now Tues. 13th Oct. & I have been writing this letter off & on for weeks. This past Monday was Thanksgiving Day & Cec had a holiday & I planned to write & do so much & in the end did nothing. Poor little Charlie got such a bad cold last week, all in his chest & nose & such a runny little wet bundle you never saw. He felt miserable to begin with, but by the weekend he was feeling quite cheery tho’ drippy & today seems much better – however Sat. & Sun. I felt sore-throaty & heavy headed & on Sun. Cec got it & yesterday & today has been sneezing & coughing & having such a time. So far Linda has been o.k. & we all seem to be on the mend, thank goodness.
We had roast chicken etc. & then mince pie for Thanksgiving Dinner – Lindy ate a bit of chicken & then plate after plate of plain mashed potatoes! Her diet is extraordinary just now – one night she ate nothing but green beans for dinner- another she’ll eat just meat- over about 1 week she gets a balanced diet!! After the very hot weather she ate very poorly for a week or more- would have nothing but milk & mushroomsoup! She is so funny – one night she was fussing & wouldn’t have gravy on her potatoes but had it separately & ate it with great enthusiasm then turned to Cec & said in a conversational voice “This is lovely!” She was telling Charlie today “I’m going to school, Charlie” & told me one day that she was going to get married. She has discovered “mother” & “father” instead of Mummy & Daddy & also Cec & Cyn & uses them with a little grin! When Cec was busy one day she turned to me & asked “What is that gentleman doing?”!! She is used to seeing the picture of you holding an orange on a tree- (that P.V. took, I think) I have it in my scrapbook which she loves looking at (Yes – hold your breath- I am nearly up to date with my scrapbook – the one you gave me is full) & the other day I got out the framed picture of you now that we have 2 chests of drawers in our room again. Linda looked at it & I said “Who is that Lindy?“ & she said “That’s my Grannie” – then “Grannie not got an orange there?”! We’ve been talking about trains etc. since Carman went home & now she says “When I’m a bigger girl I’m going on a big train & a big ship to see my Grannie”. I try to tell her about your pussy etc. but it is most difficult.
Me:- Grannie says her pussy jumped up on her bed & bit right through the handle of her bag.
Linda: – Which bed?
Me: – Grannie’s bed.
Lindy: – Which bag?
Me: – Granny’s hand bag.
Lindy: – Where’s pussy’s mummy? Etc. Etc.!
She has a definite mind of her own & is so funny- sometimes she is playing with her lunch or sitting on the potty & enjoying herself & I try & hurry her up & she will say “Mummy go away. I not need you here”!
Charlie has just learned to wave his hand “bye-bye” – he will be 10 mths. next week, so is still not quite as old as Linda when you left. It is very difficult to compare them – in some ways they are so different. For instance he plays with toys very well – turns the wheels of Lindy’s wagon or tricycle if he gets the chance- tries to pull things etc. – but of course there are lots of toys around now & when Lindy was tiny there weren’t. On the other hand Charlie doesn’t bother so much with books & pictures etc. but with Lindy there were 3 of us to show her things, whereas I don’t think Cec or I have ever gone through a mag. or book with him – partly time & partly he is so active & hates to sit still. Remember how frantic it was to get Lindy’s diapers changed? Well – he is just as bad!
Cec says the water is boiling, so I must go & have my bath!
Once they were home from the holidays, and had the pictures developed, Cyn made a booklet for her mother to show her cottage life. She put her own photos in the scrapbook, continued to write her mother letters, Carman went back home to university, Cec stared working hard, and Carol, on receipt of the pictures, pasted them all in her own photo album featuring her grandchildren! It was a memorable holiday all round.
Although Cyn and her friends in England were occupied with their growing families, they kept in touch. I am publishing only one side of Cyn’s correspondence with her mother here- but all of these women wrote to each other back and forth and it is hard to imagine the volume of correspondence Cyn generated in a year!
While Cyn was experiencing cottage country in Ontario, her friends in England were also on holiday with their children, and sent her pictures. Although some are wearing swimsuits as brief as the Costain children, somehow it looks a little bit colder. Cyn, Dottie, Mary Stewart, and Nan Heslop (Sandy’s mother) knew each other from Newcastle days.
Dottie & Peter Burton with Sandy.Christopher was born in. Ottawa but is in England here.
Anne Winnick and Cyn were colleagues teaching in Cambridge before their marriages, and I assume Rosemary is another. Janita is Anne’s daughter, and Rosemary has another Charles!
I don’t know who these two are but they look sweet. Possibly this is from Newcastle, where there was another Bobby Sheedy, named for Cyn’s childhood. friend killed in the war.
I’m sure all the children had a happy summer so long ago!
This is a couple of pictures Dan took, printed, enlarged, & mounted for me (I have copies.) He thinks they are wonderful, but we don’t think there’s anything super about them except that Lindy is having fun & they show our “back” as it used to be- no nice trees now. They were taken on Sunday a.m. when Cec had dressed Lindy etc, so so she is not poshed up!! It was early June I think & the bits of girl visible are Leslie Crabtree!!
I am enclosing the “corners” you asked for- can’t think why I didn’t get more than one pkt. but will send more when you need them.
Lots of love,
Cyn.
Cyn was having a busy summer and it is obvious that her lodger, Dan, can do very little right in her eyes now. The pictures are bigger than the snaps normally were, and are unposed and spontaneous, which Cyn doesn’t seem to like, but I think show a fun moment in time! Dan’s picture of Charlie captures a charming moment too. This was written on the same day as the air mail letter that arrived in Kingstown, St. Vincent on July 24th, but I’m sure it got there much later!
A year ago in January I started posting these letters, a thing I had long been meaning to do, with the feeling that I had better get on with it or I would run out of time! 2020 was an unusual year, even- especially?- for those of us isolated on a small island, but working daily on this project gave me something to do, and, I hope, entertained some of you reading. I have covered over half a century this past cyear, starting with the nineteenth century roots of Carol’s family, her stories and schooling, and then following her daughter Cynthia through her letters from the age of 14 to the war, travel, marriage, and immigration. Now I have come to the 50s which are described in much greater detail (and a concentration on babies) with perhaps much less action.
2021’s letters will focus on my parents’ daily life in the Ottawa of the 1950s, bringing up 2 small children and interacting with friends and relations. Some of the mundane details interested me- the furnace that had to be stoked daily with coke in the Ottawa winter: $200.00, as compared to the cost of a beef heart from the butcher: 25¢! But of equal interest, I think, is the personality of the writer, Cyn, as revealed by these letters to her mother- her humour, her self-awareness, her closeness to her mother, her happiness in the life she was living, and What a Good Mother she was! (I may be biased.) This 18 page epic is an entertaining start to what we all hope will be a happier year in our present, and readers of this blog are invited to follow the Costains through their (spoiler alert- happy!) life as my brother and I grow.
Make yourself a pot of tea- this will take a while.
31 Acacia Ave.
Tuesday. 14th April.
Dearest Mummy,
Here I am beginning that long letter I promised- it better not be too long or goodness knows when you would get it. As it is, I hope it won’t be too late for your birthday as it brings many many happy returns from all of us & lots of love and best wishes. I am sorry that my parcel isn’t even on its way let alone in time for your birthday but time seems to mean nothing to me just now & I get so little chance to shop.
I am sitting in solitary state in the breakfast nook in the kitchen as poor Cec has gone to bed with a horrid cold. He was getting it on Sunday when the Herzbergs came to tea & yesterday it was awful – all in his head & violent sneezes etc. so he stayed at home & slept most of the day. Today he got up & went to work, but when he got home he looked awful & just picked at his supper & he felt as if he had a temperature, so he went to bed straight afterwords & I hope a good night’s rest will make him feel better. It is such a shame as he has kept fairly well all winter, but this is a regular snorter. Lindy has had a cough for about 2 weeks now, but it doesn’t seem to get any better or any worse. This in-between weather is awkward – some days it is so hot & you let the furnace right down & the next day it is cold & wet & miserable. We have had some nice spring weather, but of course it is very changeable as yet. The grass is looking a bit green now, & there are buds on the trees, but so far spring hasn’t really burst upon us! We still have our nice park at the back- cross our fingers! – although there have been various men measuring around out there. We hear it is all sold now, but no definite news. The Grahams are to move at the end of this month, but as far as we know they haven’t got another house. They have looked at several around here apparently, but the last we heard they hadn’t bought or rented anything yet. I saw Mr. Labelle (our landlord) in there one day last week with his wife & three boys I think- one little fellow about Linda’s age – I wonder what it will be like when they move in. The Hughes, our other neighbors, have been in Florida for about the last 2 months I think- who wouldn’t sell washing machines!!
Since I wrote you last on Saturday nothing much has happened except Cec’s cold! He & Jim were a bit disappointed in the tennis on Sat. evening – not nearly as good as the games we saw in Ann Arbour with G. Gussie & Pauline Betts as well as the men. I got up on Sunday morning & went to 8 o’clock service at St. Margaret’s, & there were very few there, but Mr. Stuart took the service & was just the same as ever. I have always meant to tell you of the visit we had from the Rector of St. Bartholemew – that is the little church on McKay Street (opposite the Governor General’s residence) which you went to once. It was about noon on the 2nd day Charlie was in hospital that he came to see us, & he told us he’d seen Charlie’s name on the C. of E. list in the hospital. I don’t know if you remember seeing him in church, but he has a long pale, rather miserable face & was very difficult to talk to, but I thought it was nice of him to call & it was the first time any clergyman had taken any notice of us in Ottawa. Cec was home, so we talked a little while then the rectory said he must go & something about seeing us again, so I said oh yes – & that when Charlie came home we’d be wanting to have him christened, whereupon he began telling us about what to do if Charlie was going to die. Cec & I were so taken aback, because we were worried enough without instructions about getting the Dr. or a nurse to christen him if there was no time to call a clergyman. I suppose the man thought he was doing his duty, but it was most tactless to say the least, & as soon as he’d gone Cec & I decided that we weren’t going to ask him to christen Charlie. We will ask Mr. Stuart to christen Charlie, as he did Lindy I think & we thought we’d have it done after Easter now that the weather is better, but we have this other operation hanging over us & also we are a bit stuck for godparents! I said to Cec that calling him Charlie the obvious thing was to ask Amy & Charlie, but after our “words” before we left England I didn’t know if to or not, but Cec thinks they would be hurt if we didn’t ask them, & that as Amy has sent him a present anyway it won’t be like asking for more. I think what I’ll do is write to Amy & suggest it, but say that if she feels a grandchild & a godchild in the same year is too much to let me know & I’ll quite understand. For the other godfather we thought of Boris- of whom you’ve heard us talk. He is a bachelor & both Cec & I like him very much – also he is extremely clever & all set to be a brilliant scientist Cec thinks, so if Charlie is following in daddy’s footsteps a godparent like that might be nice! One thing is, we have no idea of Boris’ religion – he is of Jugo-Slavian extraction, but Cec doesn’t think he’s a Catholic, so we don’t know – anyway we may ask him & see what he says. It is difficult to find a man for a godfather-over here so many people are Methodists etc. who know nothing about god-parents. Talking of Boris, I am sorry you didn’t meet him – he isn’t very big & looks rather like Napoleon (only thinner!) but he is as easy & natural as can be & full of humour. Cec says he is quite irrepressible & “kids” Dr. Herzberg in a way no one else would dare, but Boris is so good humoured that no one minds. He has just been appointed to the “staff” at N.R.C. (only Alec Douglas, Cec & Don Ramsay on it before) & we are all so glad, as the “Fellows” are only here for 2 years & it is a shame to have nice people always leaving. Ruth & Keith, & Angie & Paul both leave this year – the latter has gotten very good job in California – Keith is still looking around. We had invited Angie & Paul to dinner tonight, but yesterday when Cec’s cold was so bad I phoned & postponed it to Thursday. I plan to make a chicken loaf which I saw in Mary Moores column in the paper – if it is good would you like the recipe? It sounds & should make the chicken go a long way! It’s a hot dish by the way, but she gave the recipe for a cold chicken loaf too if you want it. For dessert I’m going to have fruit cup as Paul doesn’t care for sweet things much & I’ve got a fresh pineapple, so that won’t be much trouble. Another recipe I wondered if you would like was the cheese slices I made for the Hallowe’en party- way back. They are served hot, but are easy & quite a nice change- Mrs. Herzberg loved them! Dr. H went for the chocolate mousse & orange cream!! He is a vegetarian, so I was careful to have a few non-meaty things like the cheese slices & he thoroughly enjoyed himself!!
On Sunday, by the way, our tea party went off quite well. I had egg sandwiches & cream cheese & tomato sandwiches & fruit cake & little angel cakes with whipped cream. I made Margie a fruit cake too, by the way, & then went to the pictures with her & forgot all about them & they sat on the kitchen table all night, so hers will probably be as dry as a bone! Linda was very shy of the Herzbergs – she is going through a very shy stage just now & is even a little tearful with strangers sometimes, but by the end of the visit she was all right & she behaved very nicely. They were most amused at her asking for “Tea now” after she had her juice! Charlie was awake when they came so we showed him off & he grinned & cooed & was on his best behaviour too. I had him dressed in the little white cotton rompers I got for Lindy (when I got the little navy skirt & white top- remember?) & Jean’s little green double-breasted jacket & he looked sweet & very manly! We weighed him on Saturday & he was 13 lbs. 2 oz. so he is gaining well – everyone says how big he is now & he is so friendly. He has quite a pink little fat face with his little pointy chin & his eyes are blue & his hair is a lighter brown than Lindy’s. Hers is just the colour of Cec’s now, but Charlie’s is getting fair. Lindy has been very pale during the winter, but I hope she’ll get rosy now she’s going out more. Her eyes are really lovely- long, long dark lashes & the iris of her eye is so:
& is most fascinating! She still sucks her fist when she is tired & it is making her top teeth crooked, but Dr. Billings says we can’t do anything about it at this age & when she begins playing with other children she will probably stop. Charlie, by the way, is such a little going concern & kicks so hard, that he makes holes in the toes of all his socks!! His knees got quite hard & scruffy too, but Cec & I have decided that may be a little eczema as he has a few little rough patches on his face. Everyone says he looks very like Cec, which I find difficult to see as he has such a broad little face or rather triangular where Cec’s is long, but I certainly think he has his nose- Lindy I’m not sure about- it may be like mine!!
Charlie has done very nicely for presents lately – Mrs Herzberg brought him a sweet pair of yellow cotton rompers with little white embroidered edging – wasn’t it nice of her? Margie gave him blue corduroy overalls, Lee a little brown suit, Dottie little red woollen trousers, Connie & Leonard a little hot water bottle, & Phyl Douglas rubber pants – what with all of those & Lindy’s cast offs he’s pretty well set up.
Everyone keeps asking how Lindy gets on with the baby & really she is sweet with him & I don’t think resents or feels jealous of him at all. Of course there are times when he is fussy & she is tired & she gets a bit annoyed that we are paying too much attention to him, but she seems to mind Cec’s bothering on with Charlie more than me- I suppose she is used to seeing me feed him etc. She loves to kiss him & always asks for “Charlie – baby brother” when she wakes up. Now that he grabs & holds things she will stand by the pram & let him hold her hand & she is great at giving him his rattle- & then taking it away again!
Once or twice she has tried pulling his hair or giving him a “bam” but it is in a purely experimental way – no malice behind it!- & she is amazed & worried when he cries! When he does cry she immediately wants to “la-la Charlie”! The routine is for me to sit with Lindy on my knee & I sing while Linda rocks the pram – we have quite a repertoire of songs “Lula-lula bye” “Charlie is my Darling” “Baa-baa black sheep” “Bobby Shafto” being the favourites! She is beginning to pretend that her dollies do the things Charlie does & when I am making the beds she puts Tommy (the sleepy boy doll Cec got her at Christmas) & Susie (the little one her Granny Costain sent her) to bed in Charlie’s little car bed which is up in our bedroom. She then announces “Tommy B.M. Mummy help change pants” & I have to pretend to change his pants etc. as I do with Charlie! Then Susie has a burp & we have to pat her back & then they’ll be sleeping & we have to ssh! & talk quietly & we have a very busy time!
As you can imagine, the “busy time” is right! Like to know what we do? 6 a.m. Feed Charlie- 15mins. – 30 mins. 7:15 Up & get Lindy up. 7:30 Get Dan up. Make breakfast for the men. Make sandwiches for Cec’s lunch. 8:15 Make Lindy’s & my breakfast. I have her little table beside the nook in the kitchen & she & I eat there – Cec & Dan & I never managed to eat at the same time anyway & I find it nicer to get theirs over with first & eat mine in peace. Lindy has 2 little glasses of milk, an egg, 1/4 slice bread & butter & sometimes fruit. Once in a while she has bacon & cornflakes & the egg for lunch. When we first come down she has a glass of juice- orange or apple or tomato. 8:30 Bye-bye Daddy- bye-bye Dan. 8:45 Stack dishes in the sink & go upstairs. Make all the beds, clean the wash basin etc. 10 o’clock Feed Charlie. Dress him & put him in the pram at the front door if it’s a nice day. He doesn’t like being outside much! However, he usually sleeps for an hour or so. I tried putting Linda out on a rope, but she gets so bored alone & fusses & cries for me & keeps Charlie awake, so I’ve more or less abandoned it & take her out in the afternoon instead. If I do put her out I get no work done with trotting to see how they’re getting on! If it isn’t nice weather, Charlie sleeps in the dining room with the windows open & the door shut. Cec has opened that other door into the kitchen from the passage, so we keep Charlie in the dining room & can shut him off entirely which is nice. 10:30 Juice for Lindy – coffee for Mummy! 10:45 Washing every other day- cleaning bedrooms & sitting rooms every other day. 12:0 Lunch for Linda. I wash the dishes as she eats. 12:30 Lindy to bed. 12:45 My lunch. 1:0 Formula to make & bottles to sterilize. 1:30 Charlie’s bath. 2:0 Charlie’s Feed. 2:30 Usually washing to hang out or cleaning to finish or baking to do. 3:0 Lindy wakes up. Dress her & give her juice & I have tea. Then all put coats on & take Charlie out. We sometimes go to the store or just a walk up the hill or out at the back & swing Lindy or play with the ball. 4:30 – 5 Back home. Cook the dinner. 5:30 Daddy comes home. 6.0 Charlie fed. Lindy’s bath. 6:30 – 7:0 Dinner. Then Lindy to bed. Clean up- wash dishes – collapse! That’s not taking into account the times Charlie cries & has to be “la-la”-ed; or when Linda only sleeps 1/2 hour instead of 2 1/2; or when the kitchen floor has to be scrubbed; or someone is coming to dinner & I have to get it all ready beforehand- busy, did I say?!! There’s ironing too of course, but I usually do that in the evening, as my time during the day is so interrupted. I am doing Cec’s shirts again now as the laundry was just ruining them, but I have been having diaper service all this time – however I think I will stop at the end of this week- the $2.00 a week is beginning to mount up & now Linda uses none, there aren’t terribly many. Claire, the cleaning woman, has been ill off & on,- has been here about 4 or 5 times altogether I think. At the moment she’s in hospital, but she is good when she comes & is getting the floors to look very nice. Phyl Douglas now tells me that she won’t be back till the end of May- woe is me!
Friday 24th April.
Well, this is a long time later, isn’t it? But as I told you in my A.M. since I began this we have all had colds & felt pretty lousy. They are the most virulent type- Cec was saying yesterday that he had felt well for the first time since he got his & although it is a week since poor little Lindy got hers she is still eating hardly anything & has a cold & cough. Mine is all in my head & makes me feel very heavy & listless & headachy, but thank goodness today my nose has stopped dripping! Yesterday I felt pretty miserable so I went to bed about 9 o’clock. Cec had met Les Haywood at NRC (remember he lives at Chalk River & his wife Joyce was at Margie’s when I got German measles?) & and he was in Ottawa for the day on business. Cec said if he was staying the night we could give him a bed & he was very grateful, so Cec & I got the one in the little room ready & I retired to bed & I didn’t meet Les until he appeared for breakfast this morning! He didn’t look at all as I expected him to, of course.
Angie & Paul came to dinner last Thurs. as I told you & we had a very pleasant evening. The chicken loaf was quite nice, but I wasn’t very thrilled! They said it was nice though. On Sat. evening we had Jim & Lee over with Lee’s sister Johnny & her friend Cass. Johnny & Cass are both nurses & work in Los Angeles. They have left their jobs – drove over here to Ottawa – are leaving their car with Jim & Lee & sail for Liverpool this week. They have ordered an English car which is waiting for them at L’pool & they drive to London – then take it to Rotterdam – drive through Holland, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, France & then back to tour England – about 3 months in all! Then sell the car – fly back here – drive back to California & get new jobs!! Isn’t that all exciting?! They miss the Coronation in England, but will see the decorations etc. so will see something. I was so interested in meeting Lee’s sister & was quite surprised- she is a little older than Lee I think & is a much quieter, gentler person than I expected. Her friend, Cass, is the talkative, vivacious one & Johnny kind of sits back. I was so disappointed as I had invited Rudolph (Swiss) & Chris (Danish) to come for the evening & meet the girls, so that they could talk about their trip a bit, but Rudolph’s landlady gave a bachelor party that evening & so they couldn’t come. Jim & Lee are very thrilled to have the car to use while the girls are away, as their old one is just on its last legs.
And now what do you think! We are going to have a visitor for the summer! Carman has got a job for the summer months at D.R.B. (where Pete Forsyth works) so is coming to stay with us. We are so pleased & I think it will be such fun having him – he is very like Cec in many ways & I think we will all have a good time together. He is 21 this month & is taking his final exams for his degree at the moment, then in Sept. he will go back to University to begin studying for his M.A.- he seems to be just about following in Cec’s footsteps- interested in the same work & so on. The place he will be working here is way out the other side of town, so he will have quite a trip each day, but Cec thinks he may be able to get a lift, so it may not be so bad. He’s probably coming early next month, but we don’t know the exact date yet – in his letter he made us laugh – he was telling us he’d given up smoking & then said “so I now have only one vice left & she is much too nice to give up”!!
We will put him in the little room that was yours. Les slept on the “couch-bed” last night & said it was very comfy, so I hope Carman will survive! Unopened out it is quite narrow for a single bed, but it will open into about a 3/4 size double bed, so if he finds it too small we can open it – although it then nearly fills the room! We had planned to get a little chest of drawers for Charlie so will get it now & put it in there for Carman to use in the meanwhile. How we wish we could turn out our dear friend Dan & let Carman have his room!! However, we decided that we really do need his money at the moment as we don’t want Carman to give us anything, but to save his money for his next year’s fees. Cec feels that he would like to do at least that to help Carman as he himself got such a lot of help with his Veteran’s money & scholarships etc. & it is such a long, hard grind to get a Ph.D. & I think that it would be nice for us to do what we can too.
Re: Dan- he is still an absolute pain in the neck!! We would love to get rid of him, but with his working practically in Cec’s lap all day it would cause a lot of unpleasantness if we did & certainly we couldn’t take anyone else. He pays his rent regularly anyway, & it does help a bit- I was very amused at you & Nellie B. calculating whether I would make a profit on his breakfasts or not – you used W.I. prices as far as I could make out – anyway you figured eggs & bacon much dearer than they are here & it did make it look as if I was going to lose on the deal, but I don’t think I do – in fact, I know I don’t! You’ll be glad to hear that Cec & he only get one egg each day except on Sundays!! However Linda now has one of course, but I still just get $25.00 a week housekeeping & that includes Charlie’s milk & he has cereal, veg & fruit too now & Lindy still has baby tinned fruits although otherwise she has the same as us. I also paid the $2 a week for diaper service out of that & any cleaning, but when Claire came & I paid her $5.00 at a time I had to get extra for that. Of course now & then when we entertain a lot or I get behind I have to have extra you know, but on the whole I still manage on what I got when you were here. Dan’s $10.00 a month for breakfasts is my pocket money & I also get $5.00 for Charlie (Family Allowance from the Gov’t – so far they haven’t given us Lindy’s- still fussing about her being a U.S. citizen!) So I buy oddments for the children & birthday presents etc. out of that. Our finances on the whole are doing pretty well considering the expenses we have paid lately. During the last 4 months we have paid about $300.00 in doctor, dentist & hospital bills – & of course Cec’s insurance paid practically all Charlie’s hospital & most of his operation expenses as well as the major part of the maternity bill, so you can imagine what a fix we would have been in if we hadn’t had the insurance. We still owe some money to Cec’s Life Insurance Co.- we borrowed from them in the Fall & paid off all we owed on the washing machine, furniture etc. as the rates on those were so high 15% or more- whereas the insurance company only charges us about 2% on the loan & we can pay it back when we like. Our other big expense this winter has been coke of course- a bit over $200.00, but we soon won’t need the furnace anymore. Cec’s Dad sold the ring for us in Saskatoon, so our bank balance is quite nice & healthy, but with Charlie’s other operation hanging over us we want to keep it like that, so that we can meet the expenses when they come. We had thought too, that it might be nice if we could get away to a lake for perhaps a week this summer for a little holiday. It would be fun to get Lindy used to the water & would be a nice change for us all, but again we don’t want to decide until Charlie has got his op. over. We mentioned a holiday to Lee & Jim & we all thought it might be nice to go together & Lindy would love to be with Barry I know. She talks all the time about him & Lee & Jim – she is always telling about her & Barry having dinner together at Barry’s little table & having a joke! This was the the last time we went over there to dinner & she & Barry giggled all through dinner together! Then she says “Lindy wee-weed Barry’s potty” very proudly, because we were so pleased that she did wee-wee in a strange potty!
To return to Dan after this big digression, he continues to be just as tactless and dumb as ever. For instance, on Sunday we all had breakfast late & Lindy was pretty sick in bed with her cold. Well, he went into the sitting room to drink his coffee & stayed there till after 3 in the afternoon. He lay back on the sofa with his feet up on the cushions & read & slept & smoked & just took possession of the place. I can go in there & begin cleaning the room & sweeping & mopping & he’ll just lift his feet so I can mop underneath! It never seems to dawn on him that we’d like the place to ourselves & it’s always when one or other of us is ill & we are worried or busy that he comes & plants himself down for the longest time. It can’t be that he wants company as we just clear out & leave him alone! I wish so much that I were like some people- Winnie for instance! – who could just bustle in & say brightly “Come on Dan, if you want to sleep, go & sleep in your own room!” or something like that, but both Cec & I get so wild at him now that we just say nothing for fear our dislike will show in our voices! He is better in the evening now which is one thing & hardly ever strolls in on us as he used to do.
The birthday party was TheEnd! He asked Cec & me one day whether he could have a small party the next week- it was his birthday. So, with slight misgivings we said all right, although I knew it would mean a bit extra work for me, but we felt we’d either have to say “no” which would be bit mean, or if we said “yes” we’d have to co-operate & help. So we told him he could have it in our sitting room (less noisy for the children than people going upstairs, anyway!) & I suggested that he should have snacks like cheese crisps, potato chips etc. & that I’d make coffee later on, but that I didn’t really have time to make sandwiches etc. So he said oh no, & was very grateful & said he do all the washing up. I shopped & got all the snacks for him (he paid me) & made cream cheese dip for the chips & put them all out- got out glasses etc. & made him a birthday cake as our “present”. I made a big white cake & iced it in pale blue with 26 white candles & silver balls spelling “Dan” in the middle. We had given him birthday cards at breakfast, & when he came in after work I showed him the cake & he was quite taken a back & so grateful it was embarrassing – “hadn’t had a birthday cake since he was about 3” etc.! I set the coffee & cake in the dining room for later & then Cec & I retired upstairs & left him to receive his guests & what do you think? He’d told them all that it was his birthday, so everyone felt they had to bring him something! Did you ever hear of anything so childish?! He had Alec & Phyl, & Boris, Rudolph & Chris from the Lab. & then a girl he dates sometimes & another couple he knew in Oxford (a French-Canadian who married an English girl there) were coming later. With us that made 11. Well – everything went smoothly – he’d bought whisky & we all drank highballs & chatted & were having quite a pleasant time. No one was drinking much you know-the drinks were long & anyway none of the fellows are hard drinkers – when suddenly (I was sitting by the fireplace) I noticed Dan ambling down the passage & up to the bathroom. He came back after while, & then off he went again. I had been waiting for this other couple to appear before making coffee, but when he came down again he came & said would I make it, so I went to the kitchen & put it on & then I took a good look at him & he was as drunk as a coot! Well! In the time it took for the coffee to perk he was up & down to the bathroom being sick & hanging over the kitchen sink with his girlfriend in attendance until everyone knew what was going on. The other couple arrived & he managed to bring them in & introduce them, then we went into the dining room for coffee. Cec lit the cake candles & Alec blew them out! We then sang “Happy Birthday” with the birthday boy being sick in the kitchen sink. He ambled in & managed to cut the cake & I served it & gave out coffee while he retired once more, so he never even had a bite of the beautiful cake. Afterwards we all went back to the sitting room & in a little while the girlfriend came for Cec & he took him upstairs & put him to bed. The guests then began to leave & we showed them out & everyone thanked us for a lovely evening! Cec had had enough to drink that he thought it was rather funny, but I was just mad at him. First of all, to do that when he was the host, then to do it in our house & last of all that an Englishman in front of Canadian, Swiss, Danes etc. had to make such a fool of himself! Then of course Cec & I had all the clearing up to do. Cec fed Charlie & I stacked dishes & glasses etc. & we finally got to bed about 2:30.
Well if the evening was embarrassing the next morning was worse! He was so ashamed & abased & looked so repulsive I couldn’t bear to look at him- he kept making inane remarks like “It was a bad show” etc. & Cec & I just didn’t reply. He offered to stay home from work & do the dishes but I wanted him out of the house, so I spent the day doing them & clearing up & boiling with rage! Can you credit anyone so stupid? Cec says that he just mustn’t be able to drink, but I think he probably took a swig of neat whisky each time he mixed drinks for people- it’s just the kind of fool thing he would do. Of course I phoned Phyl & we had a good gab about it, but Cec says no one at work has ever mentioned it!
Now to more pleasant subjects! Your last long letter was so nice – I enjoyed hearing about the garden – the fernery & the grapefruit trees etc. You & A. Moo certainly work hard in the garden, but it must be so nice for you to get such rewards for your labours after toiling for so long in poor soil & cold climates. That reminds me (gardens!) we have just heard that the Grahams have bought a house right over the other side of town off Carling Ave. (near Jim & Lee’s). They move at the end of this month & we can hear them cleaning & moving stuff around – wonder if we will be doing the same this time next year? Cec thinks so – Mr. L. mentioned relatives.
You mention in your letter about Tessa still not talking properly – well Lindy is correcting all those round-the-wrong-way words I told you about & really speaks very well now. Her word “Bagoo” for pillow which she always insisted on is even forgotten sometimes now & she says “pillow” very carefully! She can add the last word on each line of lots of nursery rhymes now, but she has to be in the mood for it or she won’t play! She loves to be read to- Dottie sent her “Peter Rabbit” & “Benjamin Bunny” by Beatrix Potter & she likes those best, but Cec got her “The Three Bears” the other day & she loves that too. It has “The Three Little Kittens who lost their Mittens” also & Lindy says “Ki’ns – lost their Mi’ns”! & shakes her head sadly! She has about a dozen books now & takes great care of them- I mend them as pages drop out with wear, but she hardly ever tears them & if she does it is an accident. We have a big illustrated book of birds from the Book Club & this is a big favourite- she can point out: flamingo, swan, cardinal, owl, crane, puffin, robin & lots of others & tell you their names. Clever, isn’t she?!! The little baskets are still great favourites, but rather battered! They are very brittle & she has accidentally squashed a few & they have broken. She dropped the “tiny wan’s” lid in her potty one day by accident & although Cec grabbed it out & washed it at once, the poor little thing just about disintegrated- powerful fluid! You were writing about Charlie and Linda’s comparative heights & weights – I don’t think those last measurements at the clinic were very accurate. I have to take him soon again & will let you know, but certainly now he looks a big boy. He arches his back & heaves himself up on his head & his heels & can travel quite a distance!
I am so glad that the little kitty is so sweet & that the old cat is fond of it. We would love to have one but are waiting till the children are older. Do you remember that cat the Earls had nearby? (It is in one of Lindy’s colour pictures.) Well, recently it has appeared- in the winter I hardly saw it – and it is just terrible! Emaciated, gaunt, mangy, limping- pathetic, but just horrid & I hate for it to get anywhere near Linda. I keep trying to chase it away when we are outside & wish to goodness they would do something about it.
You are asked in your letter whether I hear from my Father still. I think I have just had one letter this year – he didn’t mention anything about Charlie’s name. His letters are all about religion now mostly & I think he finds it tiresome to write. I’m afraid I haven’t written much but I haven’t written to anyone really. I have 2 little parcels packed to send to him now but haven’t been able to get out of the house for 2 weeks now, but will mail them at the weekend. I also have parcels already to mail to Anne & Ruth- late birthday! I sent Ruth a “Dr. Spock” & card at her birthday & told her I would send a present when I could get out shopping. I got both her & Anne waist petticoats – in crinkle cotton with a lacy frill round the bottom & thought as they were cotton they wouldn’t have to pay duty. Both Anne & Ruth sent me b. cards – no presents! – but I don’t mind. Did I tell you Dottie sent me a pair of panties & Nan a pretty black and gold necklace & a hankie? About Ruth’s baby, I wrote to Harrods Baby Dept. & asked them if they had play tables like Lindy’s. They wrote back “no” but I’ll ask Ruth what she’d like I think & send it from there.
I am most amused at you & Jean having apparently made up your mind that I am becoming Household Drudge No. 1. & beseeching me to a) buy new clothes b) take care of my skin & c) not letmyselfgo! I can’t imagine why you should think I would suddenly fall into a middle-age slump & as to a) I am buying one or two things, but we are still hard up & paying bills seems pretty important too. b) I never did even when I had lots of time so, believe me, I’m not finding time now & c) I can still get into my trousseau dresses, so after nearly 4 years & 2 babies I don’t think that’s bad.
All my shopping lately has been done from Eaton’s immense Catalogue & I have been having quite a lot of fun. My trips to town are so infrequent & I’m usually in a hurry & it’s crowded on a Sat. & I get things without being really satisfied with them. With Eaton’s, I pour over the catalogue & can decide exactly how much money I’ll spend & can make my mind up at leisure, then I just phone for the things & so far I’ve been very satisfied. I got Lindy a darling tiny pair of blue jeans! She looks so sweet in them – they have to have the legs folded up at the bottom, but they are so useful & handy for pulling up & down quickly – not like overalls. I also got her little white cotton panties, socks, a blue cotton T-shirt, a dear little green gabardine jacket with elastic around the waist & a zip front to wear outside to play in this kind of weather. It has a warm plaid lining & to wear with it I’m getting her another pair of little plaid trousers & white wool beret with a pom-pom!
Also from Eaton’s I got a very nice pair of sheets & some small terry hand towels for the kitchen & for me a pair of “farmerette overalls”! They are navy blue – rather like dungarees & Cec laughs at me in them & asks when I’m going to milk the cows, but they are very handy! I also got a little fine blue & white checked suit (in rayon). Do you remember one Lee had last summer? Well this is the same type- has a pressed-in-pleated skirt & a short bolero jacket with 3/4 sleeves & white collar & cuffs (piqué- detachable). I got the white nylon blouse for my birthday from Cec to wear with it. I’m going to get a nice cotton dress & maybe one or two house dresses later, but will wait till the weather is warmer & more inviting. All this month has been cold & wet – even snow- so miserable. It is the 30th today & I’m just finishing this off & we will take it to the post. Cec & I were just saying that this time last year we were busy moving in- now the Graham’s are moving out. Remember how the lily-of-the-valley was just coming out? Well this year, April has been so cold & dull, there are only a few little green spears sticking up & they are not nearly out. Lindy is just about better now- just a little cough & my cold is quite gone, so we are going to go to Mr. Dube’s P.O.- our first outing for ages! The sun is out but it is still quite chilly. Charlie & Lindy send great big hugs & XXXs with lots & lots of love from us all – Cyn
36th side!
P.S. Your letter to Lindy with the ribbon & pussy bib came yesterday & Lindy sends lots of thank yous to Grannie. I must admit that she has commandeered the bib at the moment but Charlie doesn’t mind & usually just wears a Kleenex under his chin! I will wean Lindy away from it by the time he’s ready to wear it. Thank you so much – it is so cute. XXX from Cyn.
Last weekend was the weekend I had intended to write you a long letter- instead I got nothing done & ended up feeling exhausted! The reason being Lea & Darryl coming to stay! We had heard from Cec’s mother around Christmas that Wendell had gone to Europe & Lea & Darryl were staying with his people in Cornwall (between here & Montreal). Then at Christmas we had just a short note from Lea with a book for Lindy, so we knew very little until last month we got another note from Lea saying she might come up with Darryl on the weekend of the 28th. We rang up the previous Sunday & in the meanwhile Lea had heard from her mother of little Charlie’s troubles & Darryl had had ‘flu so she had told them at the hospital that she wouldn’t take the time off, but when we told her it would be o.k. she said that she would see about it & let us know.
In the meanwhile Margie had been offering to baby sit for us & give us a chance to go to a film or something as of course we haven’t been out at all for so long, so before it got too close to her “date” we arranged for her to come on Friday [which was the 27th Feb.] & we were going to see a British film “Breaking the Sound Barrier”. I was quite excited about it as I hadn’t seen a film since about October I think- and then! We had just finished dinner & in walked Lea & Darryl! I could literally have howled & wept! Apart from not letting us know she’d said the 28th in the first place & as well as being so disappointed I had an absolutely bare cupboard! I was going to do a big shopping on Sat. & had only about four eggs & no bacon even, let alone anything else. Cec went down to the corner store & got bacon & I phoned Margie to cancel the arrangements & of course we got organized gradually, but it was a shock to my system! We opened out the day bed (which we bought when we bought the desk etc. after you left & I re-covered) in “your” little room, which I had fortunately cleaned & tidied last week (it has been a junk room since we fixed up Dan’s) & they slept there. I felt very sorry for Lea – she is in a very bad state of nerves with continual headaches etc. & is working full-time at the Hospital. Wendell is in Italy, leaving her with debts to pay off & money to send to him, while she lives with his people. Since he left, his father has had a stroke & although not paralyzed has trouble with words etc. so has to retire with a v. small pension. Apparently the mother is a possessive type- Wendell can do no wrong, business – & is the same with Darryl, & Lea longs to go home to Sask. but she opposes it- wasting money which sh’ld go to Wendell! Altogether it is a very miserable state of affairs & poor Lea is all tensed up – she nags at Darryl all the time & as he doesn’t go to bed till 10 or after they were long days & Cec & I were fair wore out. I am very sorry for the little boy, but he is dreadful- is kept shut in one small room all the time apparently, so was into everything here & is so used to being nagged at took absolutely no notice of whatever his Mother said. He took every toy Lindy touched away from her & made no attempt to play with her. Now Lindy has adopted the possessive attitude herself & everything is “Dindy’s”! Dindy’s bow-wow – Dindy’s car – Dindy’s bed etc.! By the way, she is trained. She has been wearing little panties for over a week now & tells me when she wants to “wee-wee on the potty”! Her conversation is full of it- embarrassing at times! Cec puts her on the potty when he goes to bed & she is dry through the night too. I did just as Dr. Spock says on p. 137 (192)- he does not say you sh’d start at 7- 9 months, & I think this way was fine. Must stop xxx from Lindy & Charlie & lots of love from us all- Cyn.
Just a note about Lea, Cec’s second sister, and her husband Wendell. He was an ordained minister and so when he had a job, the family lived in the manse in the town wherever his charge was. He had a very fine voice, and from what I can remember, he had a chance to get training in Italy which he had always wanted, so this explains why he has given up his job and is in Europe and why Lea and Darryl (who must have been just 3) had to move in with her in-laws. Lea, as a trained nurse, was able to get a position wherever they lived, but these circumstances were hardly ideal.
As I said at the beginning of this project, when writing to one’s beloved mother, the writer wants her mother to be happy, so all troubles (colds, $$$, lodgers, broken-down cars) are lightly passed over and intimate problems (loneliness, depression) not shared- although Cyn did describe her aggravations and adventures and made them amusing. It follows, then, that when actual crises occur, Cyn is telling Carol after the event when the crisis has passed, and of course the letter takes at least a week to get to her. Only a happy event like a birth gets a telegram sent to the West Indies!
This is certainly true of January 1953. When the baby Charlie was a month old, he became quite ill and required emergency surgery, was hospitalized for a while, and Cyn had to stop breastfeeding him, which made her suffer severely too. While the Costain household must have been upset, starting with the doctor’s visit to the house (!!) and a drive to the hospital at once (Ottawa winter, snow, hospital across town, reluctant MacTavish- the doctor drove Cyn and the baby, and Cec followed once the car started), with emergency baby-sitting by the lodger, and a midnight operation; all followed by a special nurse for the first night, daily hospital visits, worries, money concerns, etc., letters went off to St. Vincent without a word about what they were going through- instead, the Christmas present list, and then a local clipping, and Linda’s vocabulary!- until two weeks later when Cyn sits down and explains what happened in an Air Mail in such frank detail that I am not including the letter! After that, there are only Air Letter forms for months, as Charlie came home from the hospital with flu caught from another sick baby and kindly shared it with the household, and required constant sterilized bottles and the making up of formula- such a curse, Cyn told her mother. Crisis over, daily life resumed, mother reassured as the letters continued through the winter describing the children and their behaviour, and how the curtains are finally being put up.
And Carol notes on the next letter about vomiting children “Things to tell Cyn- about Peter, about Margs, about African violets” so it is clear that she isn’t very worried and normal communication has resumed!
A Family History in Letters 